The Psychology of Yes

Logic gets you considered. Trust gets you the close. Tara unpacks the four trust questions running beneath every buying decision and the ConvoControl trust triangle: competence, consistency, and care. ConvoControl.com

Transcript

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Welcome back to Everything Sales. I'm Tara, and today I want to take you inside the brain of the person you're trying to reach. Because most people focus all of their energy on what they say, their pitch, their features, their benefits, their proof points. And they're operating completely in the dark about what's actually happening on the other side of the conversation. So today we're going to pull back the curtain. What really happens in someone's mind right before they say yes? Here's the answer that might surprise you. Logic gets you considered. Trust gets you the yes. Let me say that again because it matters. Logic gets you considered. Someone will look at your proposal, your product, your idea, your ask, and their rational mind will evaluate it. Does this make sense? Is the price reasonable? Does the outcome they're promising match what I actually need? That's the logical layer. And it's real and it matters. But it is almost never the thing that actually closes the deal. The thing that closes the deal is trust. Specifically, do I trust this person? Do I trust this company? Do I trust this product? Do I trust myself to make this decision? Those four trust questions are running underneath every single buying conversation. And if any one of them has a significant, unresolved doubt, the yes gets delayed, deflected, or never comes. This is why you can have the best product in the market and still lose to an inferior competitor who has a better relationship with the buyer. The buyer knows on some level that the other product isn't as good, but they trust the other company more. And trust wins. So how do you build trust and how do you do it quickly? The Convo Control Trust Triangle has three components competence, consistency, and care. And all three need to be present for trust to fully form. Competence is the one most people focus on, and it's the entry point. You have to demonstrate that you know what you're doing. This comes through your expertise, your results, um, your ability to ask smart questions and give substantive answers. Competence gets you in the room, it establishes baseline credibility, but competence alone is not enough because there are lots of competent people. Competence tells them you might be able to help. It doesn't tell them they can rely on you. Consistency is what turns competence into trust over time. When you do what you say you're going to do, when you show up reliably, when your actions match your words across multiple interactions, you become predictable in the best possible way. People know what to expect from you. And predictability is deeply comforting. Most of the fear underneath a buying decision is the fear of the unknown what happens after I say yes. Consistency reduces that fear. It tells the other person, I've seen this person show up, I know how they operate, I can count on them. Care is the one that most people underinvest in, and it's arguably the most powerful. Care means that the other person genuinely believes you have their interests at heart, not just your own, that you want the outcome to be good for them, not just that you want to make the sale, that you would tell them if something wasn't right for them, rather than just pushing for the close. This might sound counterintuitive in a sales context, but think about the salespeople or advisors or professionals you trust most, the ones you refer people to, the ones you keep coming back to. I would bet that what you most trust about them is that they feel like they're on your side. That they'll tell you the truth even when the truth costs them the deal. That's care. And it is incredibly rare. And when people experience it, they don't just buy once, they become advocates. Now, here is the practical part. How do you lower resistance before you ever make your pitch? How do you create the conditions for trust to form quickly? First, ask before you tell. Before you share anything about what you do or what you're offering, ask enough questions to genuinely understand their situation. Not perfunctory questions to check a box. Real questions that show you care about their specific context. The act of being curious about someone really curious, not performatively curious, signals care. It tells them, I'm not here to sell you something generic. I'm here to understand whether I can specifically help you. Second, validate before you advise. When someone shares a problem or a concern or a frustration, resist the urge to immediately jump to your solution. Instead, reflect back what they said and acknowledge it. That sounds genuinely challenging. I can see why that's been frustrating. What's been the biggest impact of that on your team? This validation creates safety. The person stops defending their position and opens up more. And more open means more trust. Third, be honest about limitations. Nothing builds trust faster than telling someone what you can't do or where you're not the best fit. It's counterintuitive, but when you say this product is excellent for this situation, but actually might not be your best option if X is your priority, people's defenses drop completely. Because you just demonstrated that you're not just trying to close them, you're trying to actually help them. Your assignment this week, before your next sales conversation, write down the four trust questions. Do they trust me personally? Do they trust my organization? Do they trust this product or solution? Do they trust themselves to make this decision? Then think about which of those is likely the weakest for this specific person and this specific situation and build your approach around strengthening that one. If you want to go deeper on the psychology of trust in conversation, how to build it faster and maintain it over time, head to convocontrol.com. And if you're ready to truly master this at every level of your professional and personal life, ask me about the Black Belt program. It's intensive, personal, and it will change how you navigate every high-stakes conversation. Everything is at convocontrol.com. I'm Tara Schuler. This has been Everything Sales. See you next time.